Ein Drittle?!?! (1/3)

I just wanna start out by saying thanks for reading! I had no idea that people would actually read this thing and the fact that you do is really super cool. So thank you!

And I want to give you a heads up that I'm really not planning on sugar coating what I'm thinking or feeling. I think a lot of the exchange students I talked to before I came did quite a bit, and so when I got here and it was so much harder than they all said it would be I was totally thrown and thought that because I was still homesick in my second month I was doing something totally wrong. So I'm going to tell you exactly how I'm feeling every month, I wont lie and say that I now speak fluent german, (although it is MUCH better.) or that I'm not homesick anymore (although that too has gotten much better). Cause I am. I still think about home all the time. I think about my family and friends and miss them like crazy. And I now know that's ok. I went to an AFS camp (which was totally awesome. I love AFS people. Well not ALL AFS people. But most of them. =P) and met a ton of really great people and made a ton of really, really good friends and they all told me that they were the exact same way. That the first bit is hard and they were still homesick 3, 4 months in and that they put themselves to sleep thinking about their families and walking through their houses in their heads and thought about the first reunion with their families. That is more comforting to think about than you realize. When so much is different and changing and there's so much to adjust to, knowing that everything and everyone will be there waiting for you... For me anyway, it always makes me feel better. And I know that it'll get better. That as time passes and Austria becomes more of a home than it already is everything will be fine. It'll all work out. It always does. But I have come to 2 conclusions; either Americans going abroad are really attached to home, or people coming to the US are freakishly adaptable and ready to leave their families at 16. I dunno which. =)

But its really weird to think that I've already been here for 2 months. As I said before time is so funny here. One second it's flying and there's no way I have enough time to do anything, and the next I've been here forever and I still have FOREVER to go. But those times are becoming increasingly less frequent. But I feel like I've experienced so much in the past 2 months that its unbelievable. And it's not like I can list off all these things I've done that have changed me, but all of it together, the combined force of it all is really amazing to think about. It still shocks me that I'm even here sometimes. Like I'll be walking down the street and glance up and see a sign that says "Hilton Vienna" or "Hotel Imperial" and I'll just start laughing cause I'd forgotten where I was. Or not forgotten, just didn't realize almost that I was so far from home. That I'm not in Minnesota anymore. Its amazing how this place just kinda became home. My favorite example is when I got home from my AFS camp and walked into my apartment and my room and threw my bag on my bed and went "Ah, home." then gasped and laughed cause I hadn't realized thatI felt that way about this place. It was comforting and really rather strange.

Also there's the people. It never ceases to amaze me how quickly you can become really, really good friends with other AFSers. Or just other exchange students! Cause there's such a bond there, like they know exactly what your going through and they know how it feels to be scared and homesick and to just want to go home. But they also know that it'll be worth it. I love my AFS friends. And it's so funny that I'm already making plans to fly all over the US to visit them this summer, and trying to figure out the next time I can get to Europe to visit people in Finland and Denmark and all over the place. It's also hilarious how the people I came over with are like my family. Like last weekend I spent the day in Innsbruck with my best friend Chris and a friend of his from Finland (there are a surprising amount of Finns here. It makes me smile really =D) and we spent the day playing tourist. And it was awesome to see him again and still shocks me that I've only known him 2 months and seen him for less than 5 days of those 2 months.

But that's not to say that now all is right in my little Austrian world. Now although everything is much better than it was the first month (Wisconsin, AFS Wisconsin lied to you. The second month is not the hardest. It's more or less down hill after the first.) I am still homesick. I miss my friends like you wouldn't believe, and after a little..."misadventure" with a group Skype date, it was pretty bad. Cause one of my admittedly-irrational fears of being here, is that my friends back home will forget about me, and that when I go home I wont be able to fit back into my old group, and the Skype thing that never was really didn't help with said irrational fear. But I'm not mad anymore and it almost helped in an awful way to take the edge off the homesickness that came later. (Cause I'm sure [or at least hoping] you guys will read this, don't worry I still love you, just text it next time k?) I still miss my family of course. And may I just say that the change in relationship between siblings is remarkable after one leaves the house? For instance my sisters and I fought CONSTANTLY. Ok not constantly, thats exaggerated, and fought is too a bit, but we did bicker a lot. But now that I've been gone and there's an ocean between us we get along much better. My little sister and I actually talk occasionally without being forced to. She even said she missed me. (Yes Gillian, I'm putting it online! Even putting your name with it =P ahhahaha! Lols you know I loves you.) So I'm just going to assume that'll b better when I go home. Maybe for a while anyway. =P But I miss my parents of course. My mom and dad... Almost more than I was anticipating. Its strange that I haven't seen them in 2 months. And that it'll be another 4 until I do....

Oh! That's another thing that I do that I thought was bad until I made AFS friends and found out was normal!! I count EVERYTHING. Everything is just one less till I see my family and friends. Now, I know that sounds like I hate it here and can't wait to go home but I don't! Again, its just comforting for me. It makes it feel less oppressing. Like it's more doable when I get homesick. So if your abroad and start doing it, it's ok, your not alone. Just try not to forget to go and do!

And if you didn't know already the big joke in AFS USA (and maybe AFS everywhere I don't really know...) is that they say AFS really stands for Another Fat Student. And its tragically true. Now it probably doesn't help that the food here is great or that my host mom is an AMAZING cook but still. All the girls just laugh and say that we have made a conscious decision to ignore it until we get home. So if your worried about it, that is my sound and heartfelt advice to you. Following it may be easier said than done. But if your ever in Vienna, get to an Anker or Stück Brot and order the chocolate croissant thing. Thank me later.


I think that's just about all I have to say... Again thanks so much for reading and If you have any questions feel free to leave a comment!

~Morgan~